Try again

I've spent the better part of the last 2 weeks running around god's creation trying to sell Lauri's art. I am starting to come to the conclusion that I may need to let this one go. I've tried a few times now and it really just reminds me of recruiting. I believe in his art, but I suppose since it's so subjective and the economy is still so tight, shops aren't buying. Or buying very little...or want to do consignment...none of which I am interested in. $4 split 50/50 isn't helping either. I am spending way more in time, energy and stress then $2 a sale:( Bums me out really because I thought maybe that was the ticket to freedom. I'm officially burnt out on trying to make everyone else rich and happy. I want to sell my own things. Everyday brings a new dream for me. Today it's herbs. I have a gift of a very strong sense of smell. My hubby makes fun of me about sometimes...he says I can smell a fart a mile away! Anyway, I digress as usual. I have had a rip of a headache all morning long. I hate drugs so I went to my garden and plucked some lemonbalm and made a drink...god is this an amazing herb!! It smells like fresh, clean, lemony-love! I could just crush it and smell it all day long. How wonderful would it be if I knew how to make herbal remedies for others. Soaps, candles, drinks/teas, smelly things to hang around the house.

I'm going to have to investigate this further....maybe this is it?

With my own two hands

My husband and I are huge Ben Harper fans..and it occurred to me this morning that his song would make a great title for my business! I love to create things...some being better than others. For instance I made some cute little tote bags last night in my sewing class. I have already gotten a ton of compliments on them and I made them less than 12 hours ago. I get such a great sense of myself through my "art." It gives me self esteem and gives me that unique individual thing that I strive for. It's interesting though...I always wonder if I try to be unique because I think Aquariuns are supposed to be unique or do I really want to be unique? I remember devouring those scroll horoscopes that you can buy at the cash register of any drug store. I thought it held the keys to my monthly path. I think I was in the 5th or 6th grade when I started reading them and took them for Gospel. I probably even made decisions based on that particular days forecast...I wonder if I altered my life because of those choices? I think about stuff like that all the time. If I hadn't dropped my bagel on the floor and hadn't cleaned it up and had to make another one and then got in the car and made it to my destination safely...would the outcome of safe arrival at said destination be any different if I hadn't dropped the bagel? I think I am fairly superstitious like that too. I used to think that if I ripped off x amount of toilet paper sheets then a certain boy would call. If I happened to rip them, well..then...I guess I sealed my fate. Deep.

Anyway, back to my business plan. How great would it be to make a living as an artist and be successful at it? I think that is Nirvana.

This is it

This is it...the first of many steps towards freedom and peace. I've finally connected with the fact that I am not on my life's purpose path. Tongue twister that it is...I get it now. I am not meant to be an IT recruiter. My life mission is not to sell my soul everyday to a job that I hate..and have hated since the beginning. It's the money that's held me here and it's the money that I still don't have enough of...so what's the point? I'm still just as broke, just as unhappy...trying to race around to fill my house/my kids/my body with things I don't want or need...just to have to depend on the job that keeps me caged and miserable.

I am going to change my destiny...I start today.