Have you ever driven somewhere and after a while looked up and thought, "how did I get here, I don't remember driving all this way...I haven't been paying any attention!" This is probably the closest analogy I can think of for my life right now. I've been so busy with the past... how can I heal that old wound, what did I learn from that experience, how can I change it, how can I forget it, how can I forgive it? As well as the future...what will I become, what shape will I be in, how will I make an impact, what business will I start, how much money will I make, and so on . So busy in fact that I've become a bumbling lost soul with no present day identity.
This really resonated with me when I read Bella's post on cleaning out her closet. http://beyondthemap.blogspot.com/ I had a similar experience this weekend. I was trying to find an outfit for lunch with a friend that I hadn't seen in 15 years. I bounced to my closet after showering eager to find something super cute and flattering, that made me feel great. I was met by old maternity clothes, out of season tops that pull and gape open from my still unfit body, and mom-ified funky, foogied, ripped, cheap target crap. Why am I constantly surprised by my findings? These clothes no longer fit me...personality or body.
It's no wonder, one foot always in the past, one foot always in the future..I've made no effort for today. Breathe in the present, breathe out the past and the future my yogi reminds me. I think I'll break out my yoga mat right now and think about that.
